In this month’s school blog, we were really struck by the “mindapple” a young person at Beckmead College wrote on their apple card about “giving back to their community”. And we wanted to take a moment to think about why giving back is good for our minds.
On World Kindness Day (13 Nov) we’re encouraged to practice kindness, not just because it’s a nice gesture but as a practice it can nourish our wellbeing, help to develop our relationships and even support our physical health.
At Mindapples, we’re big fans of this kind of mental nourishment so we thought we’d dig a little deeper and explore the science and psychology behind kindness and think about how we can plant our own “mindapple” of kindness this week.
How kindness benefits our brain and body
Acts of kindness evoke more than just a warm and fuzzy feeling, they release oxytocin and serotonin – the hormones that can elevate our mood and help us feel calm, connected and cared for.
So how does it work?
- The act of kindness: you do something kind or helpful like smile at someone, say thank you or offer to help.
- Then there’s our emotional response: you might feel connection or empathy, or perhaps a sense of meaning or purpose.
- Our body’s response: Our emotions tell our body that we’re safe and connected, and our rest-and-restore (the parasympathetic nervous system) switches on. Our brain then releases helpful chemicals like oxytocin and serotonin. Oxytocin is also known as the “bonding hormone” and can help us feel close to others. Serotonin can help to steady our mood and bring feelings of balance and calm.
- The effect: This calming chemistry helps to lower cortisol (the hormone our body produces when we feel stress) and soothes our stress response. When our cortisol levels reduce our heart rate and blood pressure return to a healthy rhythm, giving our body time to rest and recover. It also helps our immune system to work more effectively too!
So, a simple act of kindness can set off a chain reaction that restores balance and supports our overall wellbeing, and we think that’s amazing!
Kindness connects us
What’s also lovely about kindness is that it doesn’t just help the person receiving it, but it benefits the person offering the kindness too. Just like peer support it works both ways, and when we reach out to help someone our own sense of connection and belonging strengthens.
At Mindapples we see this all the time in classrooms, universities and in the wider communities we work with. When people share ideas, encourage each other or simply take the time to listen, everyone’s mental wellbeing can be improved. Being kind isn’t just about being nice, it’s about feeling connected and part of something bigger.
Kindness for ourselves
Kindness isn’t just about being kind to others, but also about showing ourselves that same generosity. Self-kindness, or self-compassion, can be a very powerful tool. In Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT), psychologist Paul Gilbert describes compassion as, “a sensitivity to suffering in self and others, with a commitment to alleviate and prevent it.” That means recognising when we’re struggling and responding to ourselves with warmth rather than judgement or harshness.
When we practice self-compassion we turn down the volume on our inner critic and activate our soothing system, which is the part that brings “feelings of reassurance, safeness and wellbeing,” helping us to regulate stress and restore emotional balance (Gilbert, 2009).
It can be as simple as pausing when you’re being hard on yourself or perhaps asking, “what would I say to a friend in this situation?” or taking a moment to rest instead of pushing through.
Self-compassion, or self-kindness, is restorative, and when we treat ourselves with the same care that we’d offer someone else, we become more calm and balanced, and better able to connect with others.
Kindapples
Here are some of the ways people have shared how they practice kindness in their daily lives:
· Leaving a kind note for someone who might need to hear a nice thing today.
· Offering a genuine compliment.
· Taking some time to really listen to someone.
· Asking myself, “what’s one kind thing I can do for myself today?”
· Creating a kindness jar at home or in the classroom.
· Starting a class or a team check-in with a small appreciation.
On World Kindness Day, we invite you to remember that kindness is more than a gesture, it’s a practice that nurtures our minds and our communities.
Feed your mind with kindness and notice what grows.